1. Read your mind. When you say "small caramel" and I ask "small caramel what?" im asking because I cannot read your mind as to what you would prefer a caramel high rise, caramel cooler, caramel macchiato, and the list goes on.
2. See through a cup. If you grab your drink and 10 minutes later come back and ask what drink you grabbed, I will not be able to know.
3. Magically wave my finger and make the store bigger. Im sorry that we are a coffee shop and 9 out of 10 people come to hang, asking me if we have any more tables in the back simply is not logical.
4. Brew a gallon of coffee in 30 seconds because you forgot to call in your order. It takes about 15 minutes to brew that much coffee, its not my fault you forgot and we dont have it on hand.
5. Have your drink ready in the 11 seconds that it takes you to walk from the register to the bar. Im only as fast as my machines.
6. Make your drink, cook your sandwich, make your oat meal, and get you a drink carrier all at the same time.
7. Shovel or de-ice the parking lot during a snow storm. We pay someone else to do that because that is not in my job description.
8. Watch your child while you make a trip to the bathroom. Im not sure if you read the sign as you walked in but we are a coffee shop, not a day care.
9. Give you free things because you come in every day of your life. I love seeing your face (most of the time) but I love getting paid even more.
10. Give you a latte when you order a mocha. What you order is what you get, I really dont care if the mocha costs you 20 cents less I still cant ring it up and make you a complete different drink. Also, if you cant spare the 20 cents you probably shouldn't be ordering a 4 dollar drink, or a drink at all for that matter.
11. Just for good measure: wait for you to finish your phone conversation.
